They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
