My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
