i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
