somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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