Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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