Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
