I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
