The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
