Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
