I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
