Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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