Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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