party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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