I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
