on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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