wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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