Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
