omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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