Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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