apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
