He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
