Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
