Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
