New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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