they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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