how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
