are you still at the devil's house?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
