I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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