I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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