So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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