i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
