Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
