so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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