google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Barsexuality is the new black.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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