you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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