you traded sex for a burrito?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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