I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Are we still banned from the library?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
