..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
