A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
