i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
