Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Screwed.edu
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
