That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
