hotel room ftw
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
