took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
