There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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