Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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