I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
