Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
