Have you finally orgasmed yet?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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