How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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