Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
