The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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